Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
