he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
