Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
