At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
