I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
