He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
