OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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