I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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