Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
