yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
