i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
