we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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