I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
