Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
