I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
