i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
