Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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