Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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