Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
