guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
