i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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