If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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