butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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