Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
