Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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