A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
