I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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