I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
