i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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