we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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