I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
