We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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