just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
