so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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