i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
