dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
