I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
