11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
