Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Buhtt sex?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
