It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
