It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
