Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
