I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So many bounce houses so little time
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
