My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
