pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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