I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
