Apparently you make a good broom.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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