help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
