i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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