My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
